Super Wokeman

I’m going to create a superhero and call him “Super Wokeman”. He will be the hero all hoteps deserve. He (can’t be a “she” because only men can lead in the hotep community) will be descendant from Egyptian royalty because we all know Egypt is the only country in Africa according to hoteps. He will have a degree in YouTube scholarly studies, since most of their knowledge comes from YouTube videos of people angrily spitting unverified information. He will be vegan and organic because people that aren’t are failures (because the rest of us are just poisoning ourselves with non organic shit, duh). He will be able to detect a woman giving an opinion from a mile away and be able to jump in and “man-splain” in a single bound. He will fly around in only the finest African print super dashikis. He has a third eye to detect interracial relationships that need his opinion on why they are wrong. His disguise will be working in some “white man’s job” while simultaneously making fun of you on Instagram and Twitter for not starting your business and working for yourself instead of relying on the “White man”. Super Wokeman will be the wokest of all men. He will be the ultimate hotep.

I need someone to draw this for me!

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Damn dog

So I got to meet one of my neighbor’s dogs up close and personal. In fact, he liked me so much that he bit me… Three times… After biting one of my other neighbors.

Friendly little fella huh?

Luckily he wasn’t a big dog, he’s a pug. I was able to finally kick the little bastard off of me but that didn’t stop him. He ran back to the neighbor’s porch and went at her again. Needless to say, she called the cops. It took for the cops to arrive to get the dog owners outside. The owner then tried to dispute that it was that particular pug (all three of her little dogs were out and about) that bit us because she heard him barking in her yard so he couldn’t have been on our end.

Because, you know, I don’t know which dog bit me until I punted his ass… 🙄

So now I have lovely “decorations” on my legs to commemorate my getting to meet the little pug from hell.

Awesome.

Dear knees…

Dear knees,

Calm it the fuck down.

I know I’m walking a lot more now that I work closer to home. That’s a good thing. It’s exercise. We need this.

All the creaking, cracking, and bitching you’re doing is COMPLETELY unnecessary.

We aren’t old. We’re fat, yes, but not old. There is no reason for you to be acting this way. Just go with it. I’m going to keep walking either way so make it easy knees and get with the program!

2 month loc update

So I’ve hit 2 months in my loc journey. It’s been interesting. I’m taking care of them on my own this time instead of going to some salon. I think I’m getting the hang of it.

My two strand twists are actually staying together and look more like locs now. I can wash my hair and not have to retwist the whole thing because it came apart. Now I’m just twisting at the root. I need to learn how to pin the locs down straight so they can dry straight. I’ve also noticed I can go longer in between retwists without looking a complete hot mess!

I can’t wait until I finally have some hang time!

Fat and happy?

I am fat, I am well aware of this. My weight and I have been in a constant battle since, like, puberty. At my skinniest, I was down to 105 lbs at 5’8′. At my biggest, which is right now, I am 220. Somehow I am happier right now than I was at my skinny weight. Yeah, I see my rolls. I see my stretch marks. I see my cellulite. I see my double chin. I very much see all of my flaws. I still want to lose weight. However, I am no longer obsessed with being thin.

I have bought a couple of dresses and felt cute in them. I am comfortable walking into the “plus sized” section. I smile a little more when I look at myself in the mirror. I even bought my first crop top and I’m going to wear it! For some reason, I am a little less uncomfortable with my body. Self-esteem is still an issue for me and I do still find myself comparing myself to other women that better meet society’s standards. I am not going to sit here and pretend everything is great. Some days I absolutely hate what I see. Those days are getting further and further in between though.

I don’t plan on staying at this weight, while I am not unhealthy I don’t like being quite this big. It’s not comfortable for me. I am going to lose weight but I think my ideal weight is changing. I realize that I am just not meant to be super skinny. I also realize that’s okay. Being bigger does not make me less of a woman. Being bigger does not make me undeserving of love or admiration. Being bigger does not define me. I am hoping to get to a point where I am totally comfortable with myself, regardless of my weight.

INFP

I decided to take the personality test based on Carl Jung’s psychological types (I took this one). Apparently, I am an INFP: Introvert INtutive Feeling Perceiving.

At first, when I saw “introvert” I paused. I am the one that can go out and talk to just about anyone. I do well in social groups. I also get burned out in groups. Quickly. I feel drained after being social for an extended period of time. My way to recharge is to be alone. I love to go walking around my neighborhood on my own. A good book and a cup of tea or coffee are my happy place. At the same time, when I am alone for too long I can get lonely. So yeah, maybe I am a bit of an introvert. The other thing that stuck out to me is the “feeling” part of it. I feel way too much. I don’t watch the news because the negativity, the death, the fear, the hatred, I feel all of it. When someone cries, I tend to cry with them. I don’t have to know them personally to feel their pain personally. It can be intense sometimes. It made being a trauma nurse a bit harder for me than I think it should have been. I have learned that people of this personality type also have a vivid imagination. That is all me right there. I have my own world, hell, UNIVERSE, inside of my own head. My mind can take me to some amazing places. I think it’s why the movie adaptation is never as good as the book for me. When I am reading I turn the story into my own little movie.

I’ve never really taken a personality test before so I was a bit weirded out. I am kind of glad I took the test though. It gave me a little insight into myself. Maybe I am not the extrovert that I thought I was…