Guest post: The “Incels” — nakednerves

Ladies, we all love them, men dedicate their entire lives pining for the attention and affections of these beautiful creatures. Sometimes, however, a woman will deny the advances of a male suiter and this will often leave that man feeling bad or used. Even less often than that, a man will feel so bad and […]

via The “Incels” — nakednerves

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I’m afraid 

The world is making me afraid. So much hate, so much violence, it’s too much for me. 

I’m afraid to have a little black child because I know America will fear his/her skin and deem them a threat simply because they are brown. I am afraid to drive through certain towns because I know racism runs rampant there. I know that there are people that willingly hate me  and my kind for being “gay”, and would resort to violence of they thought they could get away with it. Hell, I’m afraid to go see “Black Panther” when it comes out because a theater full of black people makes a prime target for these emboldened sociopaths. 

The world had gotten so scary. It’s gotten so harsh. It’s gotten to be one tragedy after another. We are becoming numb to the loss of innocence. We are becoming numb to the loss of life. We are becoming numb to hatred. I don’t know what to do. 

Short hair, don’t care.

I have short hair. I have very short hair. I mean, I might have about an inch of growth on the top of my head.

selfie

Honestly, it’s only that long because I haven’t gone to the barber lately and it’s getting cold outside. I love having such short hair. However, other people seem not to love my having short hair as much as I do.

I have been asked so many times why I cut my hair (again) or when will I grow my hair back out. I have been asked whether or not I am going to wear wigs instead. I’ve been told that I look like a “dike” with short hair. I’ve been asked if I am trying to be a “stud”. I have been asked if I am afraid my hair won’t grow back.

I cut my hair because even though I am natural, I was not taking care of my hair when it was longer. My hair was so thick and time consuming that I almost always wore it in a “wash and go” style. Also, I cut my hair because I wanted a change. Hair this short is not something I had tried before. I am not afraid to try something new. It’s just hair. Contrary to popular belief, healthy black hair grows. Within a week of getting designs cut into my hair, you can barely see them because of new growth. I don’t care that people find my short hair “masculine”. I enjoy it. If I decide to grow my hair back out it will be because I feel like it.

I will never understand other people’s concern over my appearance. If I look like a dude to you, let me look like a dude. My short hair has no effect on your life. Stop projecting your ideas of what’s feminine on me. I’m good.

Bounce

Have you ever met a person that is never single? I mean, there may be a few weeks in between relationships but they always bounce to someone new.

HOW?

These people just constantly meet people and get into a whole entire relationship.  And it’s not like they are just dating. No. These people are moving in together after a month, engaged after three months, broken up in six months, and in a new relationship within a few weeks of the break-up.

Again, HOW?

I was going to ask “what am I doing wrong?” however, I realize that they can’t be doing it “right” if they are constantly bouncing from one relationship to another. Instead, I ask where the hell are they even meeting that many people to get into a relationship with? I can barely meet one person that I like at any given time. I have a hard time finding people that can keep my interest before they start asking when I’m going to “come through” or sending me unsolicited dick pics. Is there a special meeting place or something?

 

 

No friend zone

The friend zone does not exist. Stop. Don’t try and tell me it does. It doesn’t. You are not in the friend zone. You are simply suffering from unrequited feelings. That’s it. You have feelings for someone that doesn’t have feelings for you.

Yes, you were nice.

Yes, you listened to him/her talk about what’s bothering them.

Yes, you were there when they needed you.

That’s great. That’s what friends do. At no point is anyone obligated to fall in love with you just because you are nice to them. At no point is someone obligated to be attracted to you just because you are attracted to them.

Maybe, just maybe, instead of starting a friendship with an ulterior motive why not learn to actually value that person as a friend? Why not make your intentions clear about what you are looking for from the very beginning? Instead of bitching about how “nice guys finish last” or how “guys don’t actually like regular girls”, why not find someone that feels about how you feel about them? If you feel like you’re in the “friend zone”, who put you there? Better yet, why are you still there?

Over saturated

I’m over saturated. The news, social media, all of it is all just a bit too much for me. The state of the world is making me anxious. I keep internalizing all of the negativity going on. I can’t watch the news anymore. I never want to reopen my Facebook page. I can only be on Twitter for short amounts of time. I am even pulling away from Instagram. There is just so much hatefulness out there. I feel like there is almost too much information available. I am leaning more on face to face time with friends and just writing in my journal to help me de-stress. I’ve taken to aromatherapy and meditation as ways to help calm me. I have to pull away and save my sanity. 

Is it just me? Am I just being dramatic? 

Sideline culture

When did being a side piece become a goal? Instagram glorifies it. Facebook glorifies it. Twitter glorifies it. Music glorifies it. Television shows glorify it. I just want to know when it became acceptable. Why would anyone want to be with someone that can’t give them their whole selves? Why would you want to be with someone that you can’t go out in public with? Why would you want to be with someone that has to save your name in their phone as something else so they don’t get caught? Why would you want to be with someone that can’t actually acknowledge you?

Why would anyone want to be with someone that can’t give you their all? Why would you want to be with someone that you can’t go out in public with? Why would you want to be with someone that has to save your name in their phone as something else so they don’t get caught? Why would you want to be with someone that can’t actually acknowledge you? Honestly, I think it comes down to this: why do you think you are only deserving of part of a person and not them as a whole? Don’t you feel like you deserve better than that?

I find it even stranger that side pieces strive to become the main piece, conveniently forgetting that their side position is now left W I D E open. If he or she will cheat with you then you have to know that he or she will cheat on you. Why would anyone want that? Why is that something to strive for? Why is this a thing?

I guess there are some things I will never understand…