Liar liar

Liar liar pants on fire!

You were made privy to a terrible situation perpetrated by someone you know and yet you deny you knew.

Liar liar pants on fire!

You said that you would not only speak to this person but you would make them apologize.

Liar liar pants on fire!

You said you spoke to them and they denied it but you know deep down it wasn’t a lie.

Liar liar pants on fire!

When you were asked about it again you refused to answer or return calls.

Liar liar pants on fire!

When the situation finally escalated beyond your control you tried to change the story around.

Liar liar pants on fire!

Now you try and spread TERRIBLE lies to cover your tracks and the tracks of the person you defended.

Liar liar pants on fire.

Now, you have no friends left but one and the few family members willing to believe your story.

Liar liar pants on fire!

Now you try to post your perfect life when we all know it’s slowly falling apart.

Liar liar pants on fire!

Now karma is after that ass and you don’t know what to do but keep up your facade that you’re “his queen” and he’s “your king”.

Liar liar pants on fire!

Hey, you may have lost the only friends that really tolerated your dramatic styling but you gained some family that is just like you. That’s got to count for something, right?


Do I dare?

Do I dare jump back into the dating game? I’ve been single since July 2017. It’s not that I have been avoiding dating, it’s more the fact that no one has caught my interest. I’m bisexual. My preference is the so-called “stud” but I have always been open-minded. My problem is that I haven’t met anyone with substance. Either they care more about looking good than actually doing good, or they are still trying to be a rapper, or they aren’t ready for a relationship and just want you to “come through” late at night. I’m not looking for any of that. I just want someone with their head on straight that I can get to know and potentially build with (that’s also a gamer). That’s it.

I feel like Richmond is not the greatest place for singles. Honestly though, the dating pool in your 30’s is more like a plastic backyard pool with muddy water in it. It’s rough. To make things worse, I don’t even know where I am supposed to start looking. Like, do people still go to clubs and bars to meet people at my age? I don’t think Richmond really even has an over 30 social scene. I mean, I could try online dating again but I am just not prepared for the dick pics.

So. Many. Dick. Pics.

Starts out with a text convo, then some phone calls, and thenboom

Unnecessary and unexpected pic of someone genitals.


So now I’m stuck. Do I venture out into the “social scene” and pick up someones’ babymama/daddy or do I venture into the online scene and prepare for the foolishness?

Either way, I need to get out there.

Guest post: The “Incels” — nakednerves

Ladies, we all love them, men dedicate their entire lives pining for the attention and affections of these beautiful creatures. Sometimes, however, a woman will deny the advances of a male suiter and this will often leave that man feeling bad or used. Even less often than that, a man will feel so bad and […]

via The “Incels” — nakednerves


Have you ever met a person that is never single? I mean, there may be a few weeks in between relationships but they always bounce to someone new.


These people just constantly meet people and get into a whole entire relationship.  And it’s not like they are just dating. No. These people are moving in together after a month, engaged after three months, broken up in six months, and in a new relationship within a few weeks of the break-up.

Again, HOW?

I was going to ask “what am I doing wrong?” however, I realize that they can’t be doing it “right” if they are constantly bouncing from one relationship to another. Instead, I ask where the hell are they even meeting that many people to get into a relationship with? I can barely meet one person that I like at any given time. I have a hard time finding people that can keep my interest before they start asking when I’m going to “come through” or sending me unsolicited dick pics. Is there a special meeting place or something?



Mental health matters

Dear Black America,


That’s not how this works. You can’t just ignore mental illness. Telling someone to “pray harder” does not fix anything. Mental illness is real and you can’t just bury it. You are not helping. What you are doing is invalidating a real issue for this person. You are saying to them “your problem isn’t real. You’re just weak and suffering because you aren’t praying the right way. This is your fault.” You are blaming them for their mental illness. In fact, you are denying that they even have a mental illness. You are denying their feelings. You are denying their struggles. You are denying the suffering that they endure on a daily basis. Just because it’s not “real” for you does not mean it’s not real for them.

You can’t just pray depression away. Prayer doesn’t take the delusions away from a schizophrenic. Prayer does not keep someone from going manic. Prayer doesn’t take away the suicidal ideations.

Remember, faith without works is dead. Help, therapy, meds, that’s the “works” part of this. You can be the one to make or break this person. Learn about mental illness. Take the time to understand. Be empathetic. LISTEN.



I need to learn to worry about my own comfort. Regardless of who I date, or who I am around, I tend to change myself to make my partner or friends comfortable. I need to stop doing that.

I am bisexual. I hid that for years because I didn’t want to make anyone else feel awkward. I am not really religious though I do believe in God. I also love collecting crystals and burning sage around my house. I hid that from anyone I dated because I didn’t want people to feel weird about it because they didn’t understand it. I have wanted my hair super short for years but didn’t cut it because my ex preferred me with hair or a weave. I wanted a nose ring but didn’t do it because my (ex) girlfriend didn’t like them. I have collected posters from going to Magfest three years in a row but didn’t put them up because I didn’t know how my partner would feel about anime/comic/gaming posters on the wall. I held off on the Sailor Moon tattoo I wanted because I didn’t know how to explain to other people why I would want permanent ink from an anime.

I spent a lot of time doing what I thought would make other people comfortable. I did not take the time to notice that no one really went out of their way to make me feel comfortable with all the odd things I liked. So I stopped giving a damn about other people’s comfort. My crystals and incense are out and on display in my living room. My posters are on my wall. My hair is as short as I want. My nose is now pierced. My sailor moon thigh sleeve has been started.

It’s my turn now. I don’t have to change for you, you have to accept me for who I am. Simple as that.


Dear weird black child (BEDA 29)

Dear weird black child,

There is nothing wrong with you. Do NOT let your blackness be defined by someone else. You do not belong in the box that other people, including OUR people, want to put you in to. There is nothing wrong with who you are. I have been there. I was that weird black kid and I turned into a weird black woman. I am proud of that.

I didn’t dress like everyone else. I wasn’t, and I am still not, label conscious. I didn’t really listen to rap music. I was super into anime (still into it now). I read manga. I was an undercover gamer. I was that weird black kid. I was made fun of. I was told that I “talk white”. I was told I wasn’t “black enough”. I was told I was weird. It took time but I embraced it. I am who I am and that is good enough for me.

You are who you are. Your blackness is in no way related to the things you enjoy. It’s ok for you to be more excited about the Looney Tunes Vans than the Yeezy season 2’s. It’s fine that you would rather watch soccer than basketball. Go ahead and participate in cosplay, you look GREAT! Sing along completely incorrectly to that Korean pop song, I’m in my car singing along too. You don’t know any of the rappers out right now? That’s ok, neither do I. You’re standing in line for a new game? Have fun and play hard! You know more about anime than reality television, you’re not alone (in fact most of the people I know don’t watch reality shows). There is absolutely nothing wrong you. There is nothing lacking about your “blackness”. You are who you are and you have no reason to be ashamed. Do not let others change how you feel about you. Be weird. Be true to who you are. You are not obligated to meet anyone else’s ideas of “how to be black”. There is no manual. There are no “blackness guidelines”. Your black does not have to match anyone else’s black. You are who you are meant to be.