So I’m guessing cuffing season has begun? I have had two exes pop up out of the blue. Why? After months of not hearing a word from either of them they pop up wanting to communicate as if everything is fine. Let me guess, it got cold in that lonely bed? You figured since I’m single my bed was cold and lonely too? I guess you think some smiles and jokes will help win me over?
Let me help you out :
I’m good Satan. I’m good…
Have you ever met a person that is never single? I mean, there may be a few weeks in between relationships but they always bounce to someone new.
These people just constantly meet people and get into a whole entire relationship. And it’s not like they are just dating. No. These people are moving in together after a month, engaged after three months, broken up in six months, and in a new relationship within a few weeks of the break-up.
I was going to ask “what am I doing wrong?” however, I realize that they can’t be doing it “right” if they are constantly bouncing from one relationship to another. Instead, I ask where the hell are they even meeting that many people to get into a relationship with? I can barely meet one person that I like at any given time. I have a hard time finding people that can keep my interest before they start asking when I’m going to “come through” or sending me unsolicited dick pics. Is there a special meeting place or something?
The friend zone does not exist. Stop. Don’t try and tell me it does. It doesn’t. You are not in the friend zone. You are simply suffering from unrequited feelings. That’s it. You have feelings for someone that doesn’t have feelings for you.
Yes, you were nice.
Yes, you listened to him/her talk about what’s bothering them.
Yes, you were there when they needed you.
That’s great. That’s what friends do. At no point is anyone obligated to fall in love with you just because you are nice to them. At no point is someone obligated to be attracted to you just because you are attracted to them.
Maybe, just maybe, instead of starting a friendship with an ulterior motive why not learn to actually value that person as a friend? Why not make your intentions clear about what you are looking for from the very beginning? Instead of bitching about how “nice guys finish last” or how “guys don’t actually like regular girls”, why not find someone that feels about how you feel about them? If you feel like you’re in the “friend zone”, who put you there? Better yet, why are you still there?
When did being a side piece become a goal? Instagram glorifies it. Facebook glorifies it. Twitter glorifies it. Music glorifies it. Television shows glorify it. I just want to know when it became acceptable. Why would anyone want to be with someone that can’t give them their whole selves? Why would you want to be with someone that you can’t go out in public with? Why would you want to be with someone that has to save your name in their phone as something else so they don’t get caught? Why would you want to be with someone that can’t actually acknowledge you?
Why would anyone want to be with someone that can’t give you their all? Why would you want to be with someone that you can’t go out in public with? Why would you want to be with someone that has to save your name in their phone as something else so they don’t get caught? Why would you want to be with someone that can’t actually acknowledge you? Honestly, I think it comes down to this: why do you think you are only deserving of part of a person and not them as a whole? Don’t you feel like you deserve better than that?
I find it even stranger that side pieces strive to become the main piece, conveniently forgetting that their side position is now left W I D E open. If he or she will cheat with you then you have to know that he or she will cheat on you. Why would anyone want that? Why is that something to strive for? Why is this a thing?
I guess there are some things I will never understand…
I cleaned house. Emotionally and literally. I took the time to give the house the top to bottom scrubbing it needed. A few hours and some of the most ratchet music I could find was all it took. After cleaning the house I lit incense and let the scent fill the whole house.
I went further than that.
I threw out anything left from my last relationship. I found teddy bears, pics, other small things that reminded me of her… And him. If you have been following this blog then you know that before her I was engaged to him. Neither relationship ended well. I still had things that reminded me of both of them.
So I tossed everything. Anything that belonged to them. Anything that was given to me by them, and it wasn’t much, is gone now.
I feel better. I feel lighter. It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud but cleaning really did help. More than the physical cleaning, the spiritual cleaning really took weight off of me. I’m going to spiritually cleanse more often.
I won’t be settling anymore.
For far too long I have been settling for “good enough” when it came to my life. Jobs, relationships, I have just been looking for good enough. I can’t do that anymore.
“Good enough” has not been good enough. It has kept me from growing, changing. It has kept me in a place that I should not be in. “Good enough” has not made me happy. It has made me settle for people that I should have never allowed into my life. “Good enough” has kept me from making the big move I want to make. “Good enough” has to go.
I cannot settle for less than what I am worth. I cannot settle for whats available. I deserve good things. I will get them.
So "she" called to tell me she loves me.
She did not call to tell me she is sorry for not being a part of our household.
She did not call to tell me she is sorry for not showing any sexual interest in me while we were together.
She did not call to tell me she is sorry for expecting all and giving nothing in return.
She did not call to admit that she used me.
She called to tell me she loves me, because saying you love someone is apparently good enough.
The call did not go well.