This blog actually hit me while talking to my brother. We are givers. It comes natural to us. We are good listeners, that also comes natural to us. We are very deep feelers. We are honest. We also have a habit of wanting to find a solution to the problem.
However, there are some people who do not want a solution to their problem. What they seek is sympathy. They want attention. They do not come to you so that you can help them fix this mess. They come to you so you can tell them how much of a victim they are.
These types of people want to talk… all the time. They will come to you for your “opinion”, however, if you begin to offer real world fixes to their problem they will shut down. Some will even catch an attitude with you and you may not understand why. You were simply speaking from the heart.
They did not intend to take responsibility for their issues. They did not plan on taking any action. No, that is not why they came to you with their problems. They just want you to listen and then tell them how wrong everyone else is. You are there to stroke their ego and spare their feelings. That’s it. You are there to be as useless as they are.
These people will drain you. They may be family or present themselves as friends. They will make you believe you can count on them in your time of need, just like they count on you. That is not how the “friendship” will progress. Blood is not thicker than water in all cases. Slowly, they will need you more and more. They will drain more and more of your spirit. Their problems begin to feel like your problems. They have no issue with talking to you but are always too busy if you need to talk to them. This is when you may begin to realize, you are just the listener. Knowing you, you will still try to be the friend you expect them to be. You will be the better cousin/aunt/uncle/dad/mom/ sister/brother/daughter/son than they are to you. They will continue to drain you.
Then it finally happens. You finally get sick of their shit. They have drained you of all you have emotionally and given nothing in return. You are tired. You are frustrated. You feel empty. You. Are. Over it. Congratulations! You are ready to break free from this parasite. You cannot fix their problems, and let’s be honest, they are not your problems to fix. You have your own life. You have your own issues to deal with. You have your own emotions to go through. You need to get back to you. It is time for you to re-focus. Concentrate on fixing your life. Focus on refilling. Focus on you and not feel guilty about it. Enjoy your new found freedom from their insanity. Don’t break yourself down trying to build them up. That is not your responsibility.