Moments

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Happy. That could describe me lately. Upbeat, positive, adjusted. I’m doing good. But there are moments. There are moments when that thing, that thing called “depression” creeps back up. Moments when my mind sinks into that pit. And I just sit there. Sit there and stare at the walls of the pit with no clue what to do next. That’s what depression is like. Real depression doesn’t just “go away”. It’s an ongoing battle. It’s like trying to drive on the interstate after a bad winter with lots of snow. There are potholes everywhere. You can’t avoid them all. You swerve. You switch lanes. You do well… And then you hit that pothole you didn’t see. You blow a tire. You end up on the side of the road. Confused, pissed, defeated. Depression does that to you. It deflates you without warning. The old me wouldn’t put up a fight. The old me would just accept that feeling. The old me would cry, seclude myself, feel like a failure. That’s the old me. I don’t have time for the old me.

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