Not black enough

Browsing my Facebook timeline and saw a picture that read “dark skinned women are beautiful.” I immediately thought to myself, “this is true”. I decided I wanted to read the comments to see the positivity being spoken. It looks as if a lighter skinned woman asked why separate us and why not say all black skin is beautiful? Apparently this became an opportunity to discuss how light skinned women “don’t understand” the hardships of being a “black woman”. Oh, so I don’t know what it’s like to be black? I have never experienced racism? I have never been insulted, excluded, or disrespected for the color of my skin? Let me answer that question for you, I HAVE. When a racist sees me, he or she does not hate me less because I am a lighter version of the color they hate. I have been pulled for driving a car “too nice” for me to have. I have had white women grab their purse in an elevator because they expect me to rob them. I have been followed around in stores because they just KNOW I am going to steal something, anything. I have been called “nigger”. I know what that feels like so HOW DARE YOU diminish what I have gone through because of my light skin? HOW DARE YOU question my African blood line because of my light skin? HOW DARE YOU try to make me feel guilty for being proud of the skin the ALMIGHTY GOD himself saw fit to give me?

But to be honest, it is not the racism of whites that hurts me. It is the racism of blacks that bothers me, deeply. How many dark skinned people participated in that “light skinned niggas/bitches be like” foolishness on Twitter and Instagram? How many pictures were posted of the stereotypes associated with my skin? How many of you ignorant sons of bitches believe that crap? TOO MANY! I have had black men say they don’t talk to light skinned women because they are too “stuck up”. If you took the time to get to know me, you would know I am one of the most down to Earth people you could ever meet. I have had black men and women accuse me of wanting to be white. No, I’m simply educated and refuse to listen to music that degrades my sisters. People still believe I am chosen to do this or that or I have achieved this or that because I am light skinned. Actually, everything I have I busted my ass for and I am still grinding for more.

Do not misunderstand me. I know that dark skinned people experience hardships in life and love. Look at Hollywood. The “hero” in the urban movies is some light skinned dude or woman who swooped in to save the main character from the wrath of the dark skinned character. There are blacks that still talk about not wanting a dark skinned man or woman because the “babies will be too dark”. It has been proven that dark skinned individuals experience more racism in the work place. I know. I know that you struggle and you struggle hard. I acknowledge your struggles, I do not diminish them! I support you and your fight. Yet it seems you cannot support me. I am not deserving of my black people’s respect because my skin is too light. I am tired of my soul being insulted by my own. I am tired of being made to feel guilty for being a light skinned woman. I am tired of being called a bitch if I stand up for myself and exhibit pride in my skin. I am tired of being told I don’t know what it’s like. I am tired of my struggles being diminished. I am tired of my black people being the most racist people. I am a PROUD black woman. I am a PROUD light skinned woman. Everything I have achieved I fought for and DESERVE. I will NO LONGER feel guilty for my shade of blackness. I am what I am. I am who I am. I am all the God has intended for me to be. If that bothers you then take it up with the Almighty. Tell Him he made a mistake. Tell Him he didn’t create me with the right skin. Or we can stop the segregation. We can stop the self hate. We can band together and build ourselves up to the Kings and Queens we used to be. But then again, that would be the easy way wouldn’t it? Then you would have no reason to blame your self hatred on me, would you? Keep your hatred, I have shit to do.

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3 thoughts on “Not black enough

  1. For someone, racism is overpassed by ourselves, because we’re so caught up worrying over other races talking bad about us. When we go out, the other races abs ethnicities could care less what we’re wearing. When we go out with each other, more concern is invested in what another person has on and why our outfits match. Instead of you both thinking you have God taste (or got your rainbow s shop on), that uplifting side hides away. There you go getting by blogging brain going again.

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