Crazy magnet?

I am a magnet for crazy. No, seriously I am a MAGNET. Not just like slightly crazy. I get the, on a bike, wearing six different colors, asking can he take me for a ride, crazy. If they aren’t crazy then they are old enough to be my dad’s dad. Like today. I walk out of my house to take my weekly trip to Mojo’s for wings. This guy named Chemo, that’s his name (he cuts grass in the neighborhood), starts following along on my walk just talking like we are old buddies. He walked all the way to 27th street with me. He turns off and then some guy on a moped decides I look just dumb enough to answer to “aye shawty!” Ignored him only to have a CAR FULL OF GUYS start honking at me. First of all why do ALL OF YOU need to hang out of the window to talk to me? You just look ghetto and creepy. Of course it’s not just the neighbor hood crazies that I attract. I think being in the medical field makes me fair game for sick nut jobs.  My patients in withdrawal, or with one foot amputated due to non compliance with diabetes, or with CHF and a child my age, those are the ones that want to flirt. Is it me? Am I wearing a sign that says “open season”? Seriously, am I putting off some kind of scent that attracts whack jobs? I can say that after talking to a friend in the medical field crazy creepers have become an epidemic. Crack heads are getting bold now. Ghetto heffas are feeling themselves for some reason. Wannabe thugs really think the stand a chance. Did I miss something?  Did someone announce that having nothing going for yourself is “in season” now? Is “bum-chic” the new hottest thing on the runways? Somebody help me out here!

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